1. De-escalation impasses are often caused by:
2. De-escalation impasses usual involve:
3. In a de-escalation impasse it is generally helpful to:
4. In getting a couple to de-escalate, it is usually helpful to:
5. In getting a couple to de-escalate, it is helpful to:
6. What are likely to be the primary emotions for Natasha?
HintRuben and Natasha are stuck in de‑escalation. Ruben works a great deal and is rarely home. When he is home, he doesn’t talk much unless they are in an argument, at which time they both yell. Natasha works a part-time job and is the primary caretaker for their two daughters. She has become more and more angry with Ruben’s absences and his excuses. The therapist has identified the cycle and has reflected it back, but the couple continues to argue and fight, often in session. One day they came in and started into their usual pattern: Natasha: “You worked late every night this last week and I’ve had it. Don’t tell me that you are going to change because you always say that and you never do. I can’t believe anything you say these days. How can we have a marriage when you are never around and I can’t believe anything you say?” Ruben: “I am sick and tired of you complaining. All you do is complain. Maybe if you didn’t complain so much, I would come home more.” Natasha: “Oh, so you are blaming it on me are you? You say you are going to come home and you work every night and through the weekend and you blame it on me? Well, one of these days, you are not going to have me to come home to if you don’t change.”
7. What are likely to be the primary emotions for Ruben?
HintRuben and Natasha are stuck in de‑escalation. Ruben works a great deal and is rarely home. When he is home, he doesn’t talk much unless they are in an argument, at which time they both yell. Natasha works a part-time job and is the primary caretaker for their two daughters. She has become more and more angry with Ruben’s absences and his excuses. The therapist has identified the cycle and has reflected it back, but the couple continues to argue and fight, often in session. One day they came in and started into their usual pattern: Natasha: “You worked late every night this last week and I’ve had it. Don’t tell me that you are going to change because you always say that and you never do. I can’t believe anything you say these days. How can we have a marriage when you are never around and I can’t believe anything you say?” Ruben: “I am sick and tired of you complaining. All you do is complain. Maybe if you didn’t complain so much, I would come home more.” Natasha: “Oh, so you are blaming it on me are you? You say you are going to come home and you work every night and through the weekend and you blame it on me? Well, one of these days, you are not going to have me to come home to if you don’t change.”
8. Which of the following interventions would probably not help slow down the interaction?
9. What type of intervention might help make the impasse explicit?
10. Write a sentence or two that might help make the impasse explicit. Compare your answer with the example given in the answer section
11. How could the therapist set up an interaction to help make client responses that contribute to the impasse explicit and deepen them?
12. An impasse involving withdrawer reengagement is most often caused by:
13. A withdrawer reengagement impasse usually involves:
14. When the impasse involves the withdrawer not reengaging, it is generally helpful to
15. When working with an intransigent withdrawer impasse, it may be helpful to:
16. When working with a withdrawer impasse, it may be helpful to:
17. What types of fears might be holding him back?
HintJose and Rosita met, fell in love very quickly, and got married 6 months later. They are in their 5th year of marriage. Jose is an auto mechanic, and Rosita is a schoolteacher who has been teacher of the year twice in the last 7 years. Rosita is earning about twice as much as Jose. Jose withdraws and Rosita has been pursuing him with anger and blame. Much of the last five years have been characterized by angry confrontations followed by Jose leaving for several hours. She does not know where he goes, and fears he is seeing another woman. He promises he is not seeing anyone, and that he just goes for long walks, drives in the car, or sometimes goes back to work. After eight sessions of EFT, they are starting to see their cycle and are fairly de-escalated, but Jose is not reengaged in the relationship
18. If he is afraid of her anger, what are five ways to reflect this fear in order to deepen it?
HintJose and Rosita met, fell in love very quickly, and got married 6 months later. They are in their 5th year of marriage. Jose is an auto mechanic, and Rosita is a schoolteacher who has been teacher of the year twice in the last 7 years. Rosita is earning about twice as much as Jose. Jose withdraws and Rosita has been pursuing him with anger and blame. Much of the last five years have been characterized by angry confrontations followed by Jose leaving for several hours. She does not know where he goes, and fears he is seeing another woman. He promises he is not seeing anyone, and that he just goes for long walks, drives in the car, or sometimes goes back to work. After eight sessions of EFT, they are starting to see their cycle and are fairly de-escalated, but Jose is not reengaged in the relationship
19. Softening impasses are usually caused by:
20. Softening impasses usually involve:
21. In a softening impasse it is generally helpful to:
22. In a softening impasse it is generally not helpful to:
23. In moving beyond a softening impasse, it is sometimes helpful to:
24. What might be the underlying emotions that could be preventing her from softening?
HintAfter 16 sessions of EFT, Jose is beginning to come out and be more present and en‑ gaged. The difficulty now is in getting Rosita to soften. She says she is having a hard time believing that his change is really real, that he sincerely wants to be there, and is actually afraid of her rather than simply uncaring.
25. How would you describe the cycle for Jose and Rosita at this point in therapy? Feel free to fill in details that are needed to complete a description of the cycle
HintAfter 16 sessions of EFT, Jose is beginning to come out and be more present and en‑ gaged. The difficulty now is in getting Rosita to soften. She says she is having a hard time believing that his change is really real, that he sincerely wants to be there, and is actually afraid of her rather than simply uncaring.
26. In trying to get Rosita to soften, you do an individual session with both Rosita and Jose. What types of interventions and topics would you focus on in your individual session with Rosita?
27. What types of topics and interventions would you focus on in your individual session with Jose?
28. Write a possible disquisition for Jose and Rosita designed to help her soften and reach for him.
29. Generalized impasses are often caused by:
30. Generalizing impasses usually involve:
31. With a generalizing impasse, it is usually helpful to:
32. With a generalizing impasse, it is usually not helpful to:
33. In moving beyond a generalization impasse, it is sometimes helpful to:
34. What might some of the underlying emotions be around the impasse?
HintEric and Natasha had been married for 10 years when they came into therapy. He was an immigrant from Ireland, and she is an African American who was raised in Mississippi. Both of their families were against the marriage, in part because they were marrying a person outside of their race. They had two children early in the marriage soon after Eric graduated from medical school. They moved from Mississippi to California shortly after having their second child to escape unsupportive and racist attitudes about their marriage. They had a lot of debt from medical school and struggled financially for years. They began fighting more frequently and intensely after they moved. Natasha wanted to get professional help, but Eric didn’t feel they could afford it with their massive school debts. Finally Natasha told him that if something didn’t change, she was going back to Mississippi with the kids because she was tired, and the fighting wasn’t good for the children. In working with this couple, the therapist identified a fairly classic pursue/distance pattern, with Eric distancing and Natasha pursing. After 17 sessions of intense work, Eric and Natasha were fairly de-escalated in session, but reported that outside of therapy there were still frequent fights.
35. In this case, the therapist wondered if there was something that was missed in the assessment that could be related to the impasse. What types of things would be helpful to reassess for?
HintEric and Natasha had been married for 10 years when they came into therapy. He was an immigrant from Ireland, and she is an African American who was raised in Mississippi. Both of their families were against the marriage, in part because they were marrying a person outside of their race. They had two children early in the marriage soon after Eric graduated from medical school. They moved from Mississippi to California shortly after having their second child to escape unsupportive and racist attitudes about their marriage. They had a lot of debt from medical school and struggled financially for years. They began fighting more frequently and intensely after they moved. Natasha wanted to get professional help, but Eric didn’t feel they could afford it with their massive school debts. Finally Natasha told him that if something didn’t change, she was going back to Mississippi with the kids because she was tired, and the fighting wasn’t good for the children. In working with this couple, the therapist identified a fairly classic pursue/distance pattern, with Eric distancing and Natasha pursing. After 17 sessions of intense work, Eric and Natasha were fairly de-escalated in session, but reported that outside of therapy there were still frequent fights.