Blamer Softening Event

1. 
Check the responses an EFT therapist might make to help Marcus begin to imagine reaching to his wife in times of severe distress. The therapist wants to know if he has considered sharing with her during these times, and what that prospect is like for him. Look for responses that assess and yet invite him to experientially imagine this new way of interacting with his wife (more than one correct answer).
2. 
Continuing in the scenario above, the therapist aids the more blaming spouse in experientially imagining what an initial bid to his spouse for attachment needs to be met might look like. Choose the EFT response below that best accomplishes this.
3. 
Write two of your own processing possible blamer reaching responses to the above vignette. First, create your own brief reflection of the blamer’s cycle and underlying emotions. Second, write a brief “first-person” dialog that experientially walks the more blaming spouse through inviting the other to come close and comfort during overwhelming times. When finished, compare your responses with a sample response given in the answer section
  1. Response 1
    • Create a brief cycle summary with underlying emotion:
    Create a first-person dialog inviting the other in:
  2. Response 2
    Create a brief cycle summary with underlying emotion:
    Create a first-person dialog inviting the other in:

4. 
Based in Marcus’ responses in the above paragraph, choose the EFT responses from the list below: (more than one correct answer)
5. 
Among the selections below, select the two empathic conjecture/interpretations that best seek to help the client take one step further into her experience.
6. 
Write two of your own brief summary reflections and empathic conjecture/interpretations to help the client above begin to take one step further into his experience of fear that is blocking possible connection with his wife. When finished, compare your responses with the sample EFT response provided in the answers section.
7. 
Choose the EFT response below that further processes the more blaming partner’s fears of reaching with empathic conjecture followed by heightening.
8. 
Choose which heightening responses address negative views of other and which address negative views of self. Write your answers at the end of each response.
9. 
Using the transcript above, use “parts language” (i.e., “One part of you says...but another part says.…”) to: (a) briefly reflect Marcus’ fears/negative view of other; (b) heighten his fears/negative view of self. Try to incorporate “first-person dialog” as part of this heightening. Seek to bring the attachment fears and longings to a “boiling point”; (c) finish with an evocative response (i.e., “Is this close?”). When completed, compare your responses with one provided in the answer section.
  • Briefly reflect fears/negative view of other (use parts language) :
  • Heighten fears/negative view of self (use parts language and first-person dialog) :
  • A brief evocative response :
10. 
Which of the following are typical therapist responses summarizing fears of reaching before initiating a softening enactment?
11. 
From the list below choose the EFT responses typically used in the actual blamer reaching theme (more than one correct answer).
12. 
From the list below choose the EFT supporting softening blamer responses:
13. 
From the list below choose the EFT processing with engaged withdrawer evocative responses:
14. 
From the list below choose the EFT reflective/questioning responses within processing with engaged withdrawer.